Bestest Most Wonderful Friends in the World! (Pause)

Sometimes when I just sit and think... think about my life and how the events in my life have shaped and made me who I am... it gives me pause.
Two weeks ago Jeff and I were changed once again. I had no idea that a miscarriage would do that- I should change that- I had an idea- but not really. I've sat in HUGS meetings for five years now and my heart has ached when new moms (and some dads) have come in to share their story of loss. Even the miscarriage stories- for I know that once you see those two lines- it begins... the dreaming, the wondering. You suddenly look at your belly and think, "I have the most amazing secret and no one on this earth knows about it except for me, God and this amazing human that is growing inside of me. You don't start to bond once that 12 week safe zone is over (believe me- I tried that when I was pregnant with Ali Jane) you bond right there- when no one else knows yet... not even the amazing man that I love.
Just me. Just God. Just baby.
When Baby E left me, I got it. We grieved again for dreams not had, but as Jeff said, "We can't even give this baby a name... the baby needs a name." And yes I get it, and he gets it and certainly the HUGS people get it- but what about everyone else? I remember after Andrew died one of Jeff's good friends told me I'd be better in a month because his mom had had a miscarriage- well- I wasn't better in a month- and I wonder if she was either.
I know now that others get it too- I had the most amazing outpouring of support from friends & coworkers- from meals to flowers, cards and phone calls. And that makes me pause. I stop and think of how amazing the world is. How empathetic people can be... I am blessed. Thank you sweet friends. Thank you for sharing my joys and sorrows. Thank you for picking us up when we are down. Thank you for being who you are... the greatest most wonderful friends in the world!