Patience, Forgiveness & Sorry

Patience is sweet...

But I thought that I would run out of it yesterday, and I DID run out of it today (that's for another post)...

There are times during the year that can be particularly hard in the classroom... I imagine that any teachers who are reading this may be nodding their heads. The kids need a break... we need a break... Their volumes get louder and our tolerance gets smaller. This stretch (getting to Thanksgiving) is the hardest for me and as I type this, I am thankful to say that I made it.

Yesterday however was tough. Jeff was at practice at church for the Thanksgiving Eve service (a service I had hoped and planned to attend but more on that in another post). I was solo with my waning patience and four lively children wh, one of which is a two year old that can be Trouble (note the capital T). I know that he is testing the waters, and after yesterday I thought it was time for "Time Outs".

To be honest, I don't even remember what he did... but I remembered what Super Nanny taught me (and what I did with the others). I put them in the time out spot. They get up, I put them back without saying anything and do this again and again and again. Eventually they sit... cry... calm themselves down and (in our family) say sorry. And the person who was offended says, "I forgive you."

Sounds easy.

The reason that I don't remember exactly what it was that put me over the edge with Sean is that I put him back on that Time Out bench FOR OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF! I think that for the first half hour he thought it was a game, which was so annoying to me that I wanted to shake him (but I somehow kept my cool and ~amazingly~ kept quiet, though I wanted to scream). After about 45 minutes, I took off my outer sweater because I was starting to break a sweat. Picking up 30 pounds again... and again... and again... I imagine did burn some calories... one bonus for the experience I guess.

Sean finally calmed down, but at this point I was sitting in front of our Time Out bench with my thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans because I didn't feel like chasing him anymore... inventions ran through my mind... like seat belts for Time Out benches... but then that defeats the purpose. I had my head slung down and he finally gave up. Sat quietly. I looked up and noticed that I wasn't the only one very tired... Sean's eyes were looking heavy themselves. I took him in my arms and told him I forgave him (though he never said sorry... for what??), kissed him, loved him and told him I was sorry. I realized that it was a hard night for both of us.

After getting everyone showered (and Sean his bath), I reminded Joe to make sure he got his Lego's out of my room. He sighed and said, "I am sick of always having to clean up everything." This about sent me over the edge and so I said to him, "Who cleaned up this room three weeks ago?"

"You."

"Who cleans up the kitchen after the food you eat?"

"You."

"Who cleans the bathrooms?"

"You."

I told him that I would be more than happy to not have him clean up and from now on I will just throw away any of his stray Lego's and things I find in the house. He said "Good!", but I noticed he went downstairs and did a quick run through to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

Next, I went to the Littles' room. When I told Z there was no time for a story (it was 9:30 by then!), he told me I was a mean mom and so I told him, "OK. I will leave the family" (stealing one of his lines here...). I put my head in my hands because I was just tired. Being a mom can be exhausting, but usually I have my partner to tag off with and he was gone. Z came up to me wrapped his arms around me and said, "Mom. Don't weave the family. I wove you! I don't ever want you to weave. I'm sorry."

And somehow that made things better. I tucked him into bed (still hearing poor Sean's sighs from crying~ if that's what you call them) and went to say one final good night to the Bigs. Joe was awake and when I said goodnight he said, "Mom. I'm sorry. Can you still tell me if you see my things so that I can pick them up?" I told him that that would work for me but to please try to do a good job on his own. I kissed him and then was off to Ali Jane.

I stuck my head in to say goodnight and she said, "Mom. I'm sorry you had a bad day. I love you."

And so I learned some very important lessons:

My patience is strong but it does have its limits.

Forgiveness is sweet.

Saying "I'm sorry" is freeing.

And that I love my children more than I could ever express in words.

(OK... that last one I already knew!)